My First Sounds....

On Monday, August 27th, my first sounds were......BEEP, BEEP, BLIP, SCREECH, DING, DING, DING!!!! For every word or sound spoken that is all I heard!! I was not expecting this at all! I thought that I was able to hear before, I would hear some sort of voice, but instead, it was all bells and whistles all day long!! You can imagine my disappointment and shock that these sounds were my first! I did not take this first day very well. As a matter of fact, I went into great depression that night, I REALLY wanted to hear my kid's voice, if not exactly just something of their voice-but no, nothing but bells came out of their mouths when speaking to me.

In all fairness, I was warned by my Surgeon to not expect much. He said that with me being "deaf" all my life, my brain will not be used to these sounds! I told him that I had hearing aids all my life and I have heard sounds before! He said with a hearing aid, all the sounds come at you at once and hearing aids just increase as best at they can of what is around you. Cochlear Implants, takes the sound directly where it needs to go through-the cochlear as natural as possible. He told me it will be normal to hear these bells and whistles, my brain is re-wiring itself creating new pathways to understand these new sounds (our brain is pretty amazing-as my daughter said-"God is a genius for making our brain that way!!")  He said this is all a process. I must do my therapy on the computer for one hour each day and I start at the lowest setting right now and work my way up to the hearing that my ears are allowing me to hear-which I will show you where I am at on the audiogram at the end!

But let me explain better what is going on here. When I got my new hearing aids in college, a switch from analog hearing aid to a digital hearing aid, it was a very overwhelming experience to hear things differently. So if one were to clap their hands in front of me, I would hear that sound but it would be a different tone and I could hear that CLAP CLAP and be overwhelmed by the new sound I could hear of the clapping. With a cochlear implant, since my brain doesn't understand these new sounds, when the kids were clapping a couple of days ago, I heard BEEP BEEP BEEP! My brain is trying to comprehend the sound. It wasn't until day four I actually heard the CLAP CLAP and no more bells! Now you understand this process? Imagine having to do that kind of thing for EVERY sound EVERY word spoken! Whew! This week has been rough, busy slowly I have been adjusting and after all the tears and frustration, on day five, I can proudly say that I am accepting each sound that switches from BEEP to the actual sound as a gift from God! 

I am switching my attitude in the mornings, from "I am dreading putting that thing on me!" to "What sound am I going to hear today?!" But I tell ya, some days it is so overwhelming, I can only turn my implants on for 3 hour and that is all I can take! Just remember, I am homeschooling, so do you know how many sounds happen with two kids, a baby, and a dog?! (laughing) They are all strengthening my ear skills for sure! 

So what can I hear now? I am still hearing beeping and screeches and bells for sounds around me that I am not sure what they are, but here are some sounds that I have been able to enjoy this week-the FIRST week!

I can hear my baby talk-dadada, lalala and a little of her laughter!! 
My kids voices no longer sound like bells but their voices-it sounds robotic right now and so I affectionately call them my little robots!
I can hear hubby's voice completely-robotic too!
I can hear my footsteps as I go up the stairs.
I can hear the clicking of the keyboard as I type this.
I can hear my voice-robot again!
My dog's bark sounds sharper and strong.
Today I was able to hear the wind outside!
NEW SOUNDS: I have never heard my cell phone ring! OH MY GOODNESS!! / I never knew how sharp a dripping faucet sounds in my kitchen-Now I am going to get that fixed for sure!!

These sounds are all muffled and I can comprehend them: I can't hear my baby crying (probably a good thing right now!), I can't hear music, I can't hear the tv, I can't hear dishwasher or washing machine-again all these sounds are either muffled or beeping. 

Sounds I cannot STAND to hear: the washing machine, water from the faucet, opening any chips/cracker bag-the crumbling makes my skin crawl! These sounds SCREECH in my ears-I am sure my audiologist can help lower these sounds for me. 

Whew, what a first week for me! I get very overwhelmed in public so I am sorta bummed that worship and soccer games will be a challenge and may be put on  hold for me right now. But like my hubby said, this is just my first week, just imagine where I will be in just one month! So onward goes my adventure of discovering God's world around me!

I took a hearing test right after activating my implants and guess where I can hear (but right now they are starting me at the lowest setting working me up to this level) just like YOU!!! Check my audiogram below: By the way the black line is where a normal person-you can hear, the red is where I am at with my implants turned on, Green is where I have been all my life with hearing aids and orange is where I became completely deaf just one year ago: What do you think??!

Soon, I will be able to hear again!!

Wow, just six more days and we get my implants turned on and I will be able to hear again! The last day I was able to hear was at the children's Christmas program, which was sons four birthday, December 5th, 2011! I have been feeling good from having surgery a month ago! I still have swelling at the top part of the incicsion and burning/itching which are all signs of healing. I am still unable to sleep on the side where i had surgery, I am not sure if it is just knowing that I have something there and I don't sleep there or if it is the swelling that is bothering me. Time will tell.

Manehile, I have been thinking about how my life will change next week! I have been through so much in just one year that my son asked yesterday, "mom, after we go to Kentucky this weekend, when we come back, are you going to finally hear?"  Yes, my son, I will finally be able to hear!! So to prepare myself, I am trying to adjust my expectations. Right now, I just want to be able to hear my kids voices, if that is all I can hear, then really that is enough for me! So I made a list:

Things I want to hear that are important to me for my everyday living!!
Kids voices and laughter
Hubby's voice
Piano
Phone ringing
Hear strangers who start conversations with me ( I actually dream about this, to have conversations and feel confident and reach out to others and be able to chat about simple things!)

Things I wonder if I will be able to hear??
The birds? (I could hear a woodpecker, but not other birds before)
Someone at the door?
My kids putter patter across the room (heard that the first time two years ago, loved it!)
Whispers? Never heard this, a sentence being whispered to e!
Tea kettle?
Crickets? Never heard before!
The dryer going off to let me know clothes are done? Never heard before- kids tell me!


I am also excited to be able to join into worship at church soon! I give God all the praise in this journey, his love to get me through this and comfort has been amazing!! Praise be to God for this wonderful technology gift that I will be given next week!

Bionic now!

Wow! I know it has been a while since I last posted, but I am now the Bionic Heather and so with that comes recovery and healing! So let me give you the brief version of just what has been happening the last several weeks! (By the way-I was so blessed by all the encouragement and prayers via facebook, email, and cards that I received BEFORE my surgery! Thank you all!! It means a lot to me and I appreciate each and everyone of you!) Hubby and I were very impressed with the hospital that took such good care of both me AND hubby! That early morning (4am wake up call!) we were greeted with each nurse and doctor that would be in the operating room with me. There were a total of 8 of them!! And each one of them were positive and professional! I requested an interpreter for that morning to make sure I would not miss out on any important detail and she was simply wonderful-like the sister I never had! There was not much to interpret before the surgery and all went well! Throughout the surgery, hubby was kept up to date through the computer flat screen on the wall where it is color-coded through our doctor's name to let hubby know which stage of the surgery I was in (pre-surgery, surgery has started, in surgery, recovery, etc) plus the doctor would call hubby in the waiting room letting him know where he was at with me during surgery! How cool is that?! The surgery went beautifully, the doctor came and gave hubby pictures of how it looks inside my ear and said that he expects a great outcome of this surgery. In recovery, wow, it was brutal trying to wake up! I was in no pain, but felt swelling and the usual groggy stuff and totally out of it. I was trying to talk, but could not due to the tube they put in my throat and thankfully my interpreter was there and I signed everything to her to tell everyone what I needed-wow I REALLY needed her then-never thought that would be during that time though! But we got through it. We stayed in the hospital and finally had my first meal of macaroni and cheese 30 hours later! That night at the hospital was the worst of all the pain I have had in recovering from this surgery. I did not get much sleep at all that night between the pain and trying to get in a comfortable sleeping position with my head all wrapped up! We came home to my wonderful greeting crew of my kids! My in-laws helped SO much in making me recover so quickly and I appreciate all they did, from taking care of the kids, allowing me to nap, and they even did a cleaning of the house-I am talking SPRING cleaning! (Thank you both!!!) We just got back from the doctor this past week to check on my incision and all looks well-no infection!! YAY! I need to continue to heal in the next several weeks, allow the swelling in the ear area to go down and then are you ready for this?!!! AUGUST 27th I WILL BE ABLE TO HEAR AGAIN! And it looks like this is coming just in time for me to hear important things: Baby will turn 1 in September, son is playing soccer for the first time, daughter will be taking more piano lessons (by me as her teacher!) and going into drama classes, I will be teaching a class for homeschooling, and with all the fall and Christmas activities coming-wow! I am already overwhelmed just thinking of all the things that I just might be able to hear! So now another countdown begins: 23 more days to go til my new gift is complete!