What a busy month February brought me! I had a doctor appointment two weeks ago in Columbus and I was unable to meet with him due to my 5 month old baby being sick. Poor thing had a stomach virus and was throwing up for three days! It was very scary for me because she can almost roll over, but not quite yet and so when she threw up, I was terrified of her choking on her throw up and not being able to hear her choking! So I had her by my side 24/7 day and night and I was utterly exhausted by the end of the week and then guess what happened, my next daughter got it! I remember looking over in bed seeing her throw up and thinking, "it is not over yet, Lord give me strength!" And He did! Thankfully my husband took over and I was able to rest! I was bummed that I couldn't go to the doctor appointment but rescheduled it for March. And so I focused on the doctor in Kentucky. Dr. Gadre walked in with a genuine smile and met everyone and got right to work. This doctor is AMAZING!! Let me tell you a list of just why he is amazing: He is such an expert on Cochlear Implants that he is writing a textbook on how to do cochlear implants, He is kind, honest, and proud of his work, He looked at me straight in the eyes when communicating, and best of all: He said I would most definitely benefit from Cochlear Implants!! I am blown away by this doctor and went ahead and set up appointments with him. Turns out that I have a full day in March of testings from MRI, Cat Scans, Audiology Tests, and Implant Evaluations, then just a month later, I will have my implants and two weeks later I will be able to hear again! Wow! I am in shock! But really let me tell you several of my biggest shocks this past week:
I went to the store and the cashier mentioned something to me while I was loading the groceries on the belt and my daughter tapped me and told me what the cashier said. I then told the cashier, "oh Im sorry, I did not hear you, I am deaf." WHAT?!! Did I just utter the words DEAF? I have always been hearing impaired or hearing loss, but for the first time in my life I have to say DEAF! Wow, I guess when you have a loss, whether it be losing someone, a job, or having an illness, you experience new lifestyle changes of shock and learn to adjust. I have had more of these "Shock" moments in public, like going in the store and everyone staring at me...I wonder if my fly is open, or I have mascara on my cheek, and I go crazy thinking of all these things, to find someone come up to me huffing and puffing, handing me a store ad, "here, I wanted you to have this!" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! She was running after me to give me an ad?! I was not laughing at first, I was terribly embarrassed but now I can laugh, can you imagine the scene?! Or what about being in Red Lobster, standing in the foyer holding a baby waiting for a table and again everyone is staring at you and your mind beings to think again, to find a boy tapping my arm saying, "I was wondering if you want to take my seat." Apparently he had been asking several times and there I was standing smiling at everyone! Whew! Well, I can look at it this way, I only have two more months til I can communicate back to those people and then go back to saying, "I have a hearing loss". But really I am looking forward to hearing my baby laugh, my son who is learning to read, read to me, and my daughter sing in her music class!! Those things are what matter to me the most and what I want to hear!
