Just what IS a cochlear implant?!

I was updating my calendar today and I realized that tomorrow a week has gone by and I will only have THREE more weeks til my surgery if all goes well!! (SQUEAL!!!!!!!) My heart is just thumping at the thought of the day I can type, "Today, I am going bionic!" So I thought in celebration of a week going by (which by the way, I am feeling SO much better from my recent surgery-thanks for all the prayers and support you guys!!) I thought I post a couple things to show you just what a cochlear implant is!

This is a link that shows you a video of how a cochlear implant works:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5Rgcrm3Cow


And these links I just had to post to give you an idea of what a life-changing experience it is to have cochlear implants as a child!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6UQBX8sNPY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsyOx0z57pU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1TA_AbhqA8&feature=related


Wow, these all made me teary-eyed! Maybe I will have a video to show in a couple of months! Ha!

Not out of the woods yet!

Two words describe my recent surgery for my infection behind my eye: AWESOME and UGH! Let me explain. My doctor was out of this world! He is AWESOME! He explained everything in details before doing anything, (yes I was awake through it all!). He put a very wide band around my head and forehead and it turns out to be a device that protects my brain during the surgery and he is one of the very fewest doctors that do that! The hardest part of the surgery was just trying to numb me up! It took about an hour to do that and that is the UGH part! I am so thankful my husband was there to talk me through it and get me through it! My throat would become numb and I couldn't feel myself swallowing and that terrified me! I was never in ANY pain from the beginning of numbing to the end of surgery-for that I am very thankful! (If you are in need of a sinus doctor, contact me because I HIGHLY recommend this doctor in Columbus!)

Now back to the two words again: The surgery itself was only 10 minutes-AWESOME! And as soon as it was done, I felt like I could breathe better!  He found that there was no infection there but I was inflamed as if there was an infection there. We really don't know if my infection was there and then the medicine the cochlear implant doctor gave me took care of this and it showed up inflamed on the cat scan or it just recently went away-we don't know, but now the critical part is ensuring that the infection does not come back. So I am to do these rinses-UGH, these are not your typical saline rinses through a netti pot!  I have to shoot up 12 ounces of this "medicine" three times a day for an entire MONTH! The last few days have been really tough to do because I am still swollen and so I feel like I am drowning when I do these rinses. But the doctor said these rinses will help to make sure the infection does not come back.

Four days before my surgery date of the cochlear implants, I have to see him again for him to do an MRI: and there we will see if my infection came back which I need to do the surgery all over again - UGH. Or my infection may not be there and I can proceed for my cochlear implants on the 19th - AWESOME! So I am technically not out of the woods yet, I am REALLY REALLY REALLY praying that all goes well and on schedule for the 19th. I am holding onto faith right now!

A DATE!!

I have a date!!! WOW!!!! I never thought I would be saying this! On JULY 19th, I will officially get my implants and become "robotic"! Ha! I will not be able to hear at this time, I have to heal for a month and allow the swelling to go down and then go back in August to be "Activated" (hear)! I feel like the Terminator when I say that! But to have a date; wow what a difference it makes! When I heard the date, I cried because I said to myself, "I really am going to hear!!" It feels so real now. And God answered my prayers, I am going to hear on my baby's first birthday in September! I have my surgery on my infection behind my eye next week and once that is over, I can start preparing for my official surgery! 

Please pray for my kids and I though, we are getting very weary of the struggles that we go through with my deafness in our day to day living. I prayed with them today and asked God to give us the strength to make it through the last two months with patience with each other. Just two more months until I can hear and what a difference that will make in our lives!!

Several of you have asked me more information about the implant itself and so next week after my first surgery, I will give a detailed post about the implants and what is involved in actually hearing through these implants!

Progress!

Yesterday I met with my doctor for the first time and after the appointment my hubby and I both agreed that God has blessed us with amazing doctors!! The doctor checked my cat scan and believes that I am a perfect candidate for a simple surgery rather than the "sinus surgery"  for my infection that usually takes place in the hospital that goes along with IV's, anesthesia, and other complications. This simple surgery will take place in his office, outpatient, done in an hour and half, and by day three after this surgery, I am recovered!! WOW! We are now waiting for the office to call to set up the surgery date, which we are aiming for early to mid June. So that goes along with my timetable! I need to heal for a month, then the cochlear implants, so probably July, then a month of healing again, then I go back to "activate"--HEAR!! So I believe we are making progress, might be slow progress, but folks, it is PROGRESS! I told hubby, my wish and prayer is that I can be able to hear on baby's first birthday-September 23rd and I just might get my wish and prayers answered!!

Worship

Before I lost my hearing, I had hearing aids. I could hear music and piano (and even played the piano and at the moment while I am COMPLETELY deaf teaching my 8 year old piano-ask me how-it really is very easy!). I was not able to hear the complete sound of music, so for example, if one were to play a chord on the piano, I would hear maybe one or two notes of that chord, but not the complete sound-does that make sense? As for music, I could never hear the words of the lyrics, but if one were to point to the words as the words are being sung and I put my hand on the boom box, I could understand and FEEL the rhythm of the song. So when it comes to worship in church, I always followed the music director by reading his lips to sing songs and feel whatever music I am able to feel and worship. (and I should tell you, I wondered if any of the music directors that I have had in the past in Church ever realized that I was the only one that noticed that he was not singing the right word or phrase while in worship and noticed he pulled that microphone back just a bit to make sure no one would hear his mistake-ha!) I love to worship through songs, my heart just lifts up in joy and using my hands through sign language just adds to the reflection of my love for Christ. Now that I am deaf, I have to tell you, worship in church is just so.....hard! Really! I don't feel comfortable singing because I can't control how loud or soft I am singing, if there is an unfamiliar song, I don't feel comfortable trying the song out with no rhythm or an idea of how the song flows, and frankly I need to HEAR the music! Isn't that just crazy?! I know I can use sign language and worship, but there is just something about lifting my voice in praise! So for Sundays, I sing the songs in my head/heart and I ache for the day that I can join in. So until then, when I am at home with my three little ones as my audience, oh do we worship!!!!!!!! I lift my voice and my kids join with me and we are L O U D even if the windows are open wide for our neighbors to hear! We sing songs from, This little light of mine to The B-I-B-L-E to Rejoice in the Lord Always to the kids favorite: This is the Day that the Lord has Made! I love my kids that they don't care if I am off tune and loud! God loves to hear us worship in so many ways, so I encourage one and all, join me in WORSHIPING HIM!


Oh and in case you're wondering, I have appointment with my doctor at the end of the month to discuss about my infection behind my eye at the end of the month and I hope to have that surgery done beginning June. My Cochlear Implant doctor wants me to heal for a month, so that puts me possibly end of June or beginning July to get my Cochlear Implant. I will then need to heal for a month and then possibly end of July or beginning August I can finally activate and HEAR! WHEW! We will keep praying and waiting (and worshiping!)

Side Note: Starting a homeschooling blog!

I want to dedicate this site to my cochlear implant journey, so for those of you who wanted to hear my random thoughts on homeschooling life, I started a new blog there: www.6feetand4paws.blogspot.com !

TRUST!

My CAT scan was last week and so my results came in today: the infection is still there. I am VERY disappointed and upset about this news. Today, I have been grumbling about having this surgery done. So tonight my husband ask me a very simple question, "Do you trust your doctor?" Yes of course I do, he is the best doctor there is and he knows what he is doing and he wants the best for me! So yes, I do trust him and I know this is what he wants me to do, so that I can be healthy for the implants. Then after thinking about this, hmmmmmmm...... there is actually a better doctor who REALLY knows me and wants the best for me!! Boy am I lucky I have Him! (smile) So tonight, with this grumbling heart, I give this to God!!! (oh and in case you're wondering, this means that infection surgery is this month and cochlear implants-we are looking about June to get the surgery done and to actually hear a month after that! (Just maybe I will hear the fireworks?!))

Paper or Plastic?

Right now I got through my medicine and waiting to get the CAT Scan done sometime this month to check to see if the infection is there. If it is there, off to surgery we go. If not, I can then set the date of getting the cochlear implants. It is hard to believe that it has been five months, almost a half of a year of total silence! Since then I have struggled with communication more than I have ever had in my life! The biggest struggle is just going out to do errands! Let me explain one of the simple errands of getting groceries:

I am at the checkout with the two kids and a baby. The kids are helping me load the groceries onto the belt. Now in the past (with a hearing loss you sorta prepare yourself for things!) I have learned the person at the end of the belt will ask, "Plastic or Paper bags ma'am?" So I always look down there first to respond. Well this particular day, there was on one there, so I kept my eye down there waiting for that person to show up while loading the groceries and keeping my other eye on the kids and a baby! Sure enough a person showed up down there, but was just standing there and I was so upset with myself that I didn't catch her lips moving to respond! So I asked, "did you ask me paper or plastic?" To which she responded, no, and walked off. So I guess she wasn't the bag person and so I told the cashier, "oh I have a hearing loss." (after talking with hubby that night, he suggested that I say DEAF, after all, I do not have any hearing at all, I sorta need to be reminded of that nowadays!") So then I am unloading the groceries and see my oldest waving her arms to get my attention that the bag person wants to know paper or plastic. WHAT?! I missed it already?!!!

I know it really is not a big deal, but I guess to me as a person with a hearing loss I have always tried to live the "hearing" world. And it takes preparation! It is interesting that when I had a hearing loss I would try to be like a hearing person, now that I have no hearing, I am trying to be like a person with a hearing loss-how comical is that?! I know it would be easier on me to simply tell the person I am working with that I am deaf and then things could be better, but you wouldn't believe the look I get on people's face when I mention it because I speak so well that it is just hard to believe that I could be deaf! Sometimes we go into my "story" or other times I can just move on. So I am trying hard to remember communication is two people, so I need to inform the other so that we can have good communication. As I said before, I have gone through the grieving period of being deaf and now I am learning the acceptance/peace of being deaf and now anxious to get the ball rolling and get the implants so that I can confidently say, "Plastic please!"

God is in control!

Yesterday was my day of testing to get ready for the cochlear implant! From 8am to 7pm I had lots of testing to do to get ready for my big day! My audiologist is WONDERFUL! She is so supportive, upbeat, encouraging, and is excited for me to get the implants. The hearing test was so short-I couldn’t hear anything but every now and then feel vibrations like you would feel with a freight train as they go by. I also had to do a lip-reading tests. She would speak a sentence and I would repeat them back to her. She said 20 sentence lines to me and I only missed ONE WORD!! I think those games of “Read my lips” paid off! Ha! (But really it was all those years of speech therapy!) So after al the testing done, we were getting excited to meet with the doctor to see which ear we are going to do the implants in. He ushered us into a room to look at the MRI to see how the bone structure looks of my ears. He said it all looked great, but he was concerned about this stuff on top of my skull that is not supposed to be there……my mind went blank when he said that! He then said that it is a big infection that is close to my eyes and if not taken care of, I could go blind. My mouth just dropped open! We came here to get implants for my ears to find that I could go blind?! But this infection explains all the horrible headaches I have had behind my eyes that I thought was due to allergy seasons! So the plan is to get on several medications right now to see if we can get the infection gone in four weeks. Then I go in for a CAT scan to see the diagnosis of the infection, if it is not gone, then I will have to go for surgery to take care of this. The cochlear implants are on hold until we get this infection take care of. I have learned two things by the end of this day:

1. God is in control! He has and will continue to take care of me! He went before me and allowed my doctor to see this infection in preparation for my cochlear implants on my CAT scan! What a blessing!! I have been singing today “What a mighty God we serve….”
2. I have an amazing husband! He loves me so much and is excited for me to have implants and supports me by walking all the way back to the hospital to retrieve information that the doctor needed so we can know the diagnosis of that “something” that wasn’t supposed to be there that very same hour! I love you honey!

Please be in prayers that this infection will go away through medication and I wouldn’t have to get the surgery! (But if it comes to that, then God will once again provide!) Until then, my hearing world is on hold!

The Doctor Is In!

What a busy month February brought me! I had a doctor appointment two weeks ago in Columbus and I was unable to meet with him due to my 5 month old baby being sick. Poor thing had a stomach virus and was throwing up for three days! It was very scary for me because she can almost roll over, but not quite yet and so when she threw up, I was terrified of her choking on her throw up and not being able to hear her choking! So I had her by my side 24/7 day and night and I was utterly exhausted by the end of the week and then guess what happened, my next daughter got it! I remember looking over in bed seeing her throw up and thinking, "it is not over yet, Lord give me strength!" And He did! Thankfully my husband took over and I was able to rest! I was bummed that I couldn't go to the doctor appointment but rescheduled it for March. And so I focused on the doctor in Kentucky. Dr. Gadre walked in with a genuine smile and met everyone and got right to work. This doctor is AMAZING!! Let me tell you a list of just why he is amazing: He is such an expert on Cochlear Implants that he is writing a textbook on how to do cochlear implants, He is kind, honest, and proud of his work, He looked at me straight in the eyes when communicating, and best of all: He said I would most definitely benefit from Cochlear Implants!! I am blown away by this doctor and went ahead and set up appointments with him. Turns out that I have a full day in March of testings from MRI, Cat Scans, Audiology Tests, and Implant Evaluations, then just a month later, I will have my implants and two weeks later I will be able to hear again! Wow! I am in shock! But really let me tell you several of my biggest shocks this past week:

I went to the store and the cashier mentioned something to me while I was loading the groceries on the belt and my daughter tapped me and told me what the cashier said. I then told the cashier, "oh Im sorry, I did not hear you, I am deaf." WHAT?!! Did I just utter the words DEAF? I have always been hearing impaired or hearing loss, but for the first time in my life I have to say DEAF! Wow, I guess when you have a loss, whether it be losing someone, a job, or having an illness, you experience new lifestyle changes of shock and learn to adjust. I have had more of these "Shock" moments in public, like going in the store and everyone staring at me...I wonder if my fly is open, or I have mascara on my cheek, and I go crazy thinking of all these things, to find someone come up to me huffing and puffing, handing me a store ad, "here, I wanted you to have this!" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! She was running after me to give me an ad?! I was not laughing at first, I was terribly embarrassed but now I can laugh, can you imagine the scene?! Or what about being in Red Lobster, standing in the foyer holding a baby waiting for a table and again everyone is staring at you and your mind beings to think again, to find a boy tapping my arm saying, "I was wondering if you want to take my seat." Apparently he had been asking several times and there I was standing smiling at everyone! Whew! Well, I can look at it this way, I only have two more months til I can communicate back to those people and then go back to saying, "I have a hearing loss". But really I am looking forward to hearing my baby laugh, my son who is learning to read, read to me, and my daughter sing in her music class!! Those things are what matter to me the most and what I want to hear!